From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
