Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
