I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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