the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Screwed.edu
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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