I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
