It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize