If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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