It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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