I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
