If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
