pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
