his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
