Sry I called you an 8
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
