My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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