think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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