the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
