operation have a gay friend backfired
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
