ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
