I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
