i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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