Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Randomize
