Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
