THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
