shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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