i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
