it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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