ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
