I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
