would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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