k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
