Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
