We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
