in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
