I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
