if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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