i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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