Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize