he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
