Where is the hickey?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
please come you make the beer taste better
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
