Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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