I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
