I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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