I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
