O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
