I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
