Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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