I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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