If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
