are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
