When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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