who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
