Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
