Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
