but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
