I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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