I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
