honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
