just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
