dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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