its not stalking. its research.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
