All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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