Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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